What [Most] Women Really Want

What [Most] Women Really Want

June 26, 2014 |  by  |  Life & Romance, UR Men


The recent internet buzz circulating around the mugshot of a “hot” felon may be living out its news-cycle, but the debate remains on whether all women want a bad guy with good looks and a strong back.

The truth is, most women are neither looking for a roughneck or Prince Charming. Getting a female to learn and earn you is much deeper than skin-deep. But as I presume is the case of the gazey-eyed felon, looks are sometimes all one has to offer. So gentlemen, let’s crunch some fourth quarter plays and get into a discussion of what (most) women really want.

Good Game

If you’re going to be a player at least be a good person while you’re at it. Most women respect honesty, especially when it is unsolicited. The more honest you are, the less shit may hit the fan if things do not work out. DO NOT lead a woman on. Part of being a grown-ass man is accepting your truth and living in it. If you’re just looking to date and have fun, let her know from the gate. It’s a waste of energy to convince a woman you’re looking for love when you’d actually just love to spend the night.

Attractiveness vs. Sexiness

Most women have seen enough sexy in their lifetime to know that looks are not all that matter. Having hazel peepers and a chiseled chest and cheekbones only means one thing: you are easy on the eyes. But a lot of women are sapiophiles who admire brains over beauty. (Think Jay and Bey or Janet and Jermaine.) To most women, fine intellectual qualities beat rudimentary sexiness when it comes to taking you fellas seriously. Of course, there is a thin line between informative and pompous, so if you tend to be a know-it-all go ahead and reel it in a little bit.

Presentation Expectations

A well-dressed man can have a powerful effect. Even if a woman is not actively looking, a guy in some nice digs and a great smile may sway her interest. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers as long as they’re clean and fitting. A collared shirt, pressed slacks, and wing-tips are impressive too, but having dynamic style is yet another way to show the ladies what you’re working with. So dress with some personality, chin up and smile dammit.

Pay Attention

Whether you are planning to get serious or not, most women appreciate a man who is attentive in more ways than one. If you realize a woman is vulnerable or holding on to her past, you might want to take some advice from Drake and not throw yourself into dealing with a heart you didn’t break. But if love is the reason you decide to stick around, be prepared to accept her issues because they will most likely be yours to help manage. If love is not the case and you don’t actually thrive off Love and Hip Hop-style drama, then stay out of it!

I’m Not Saying She’s A Gold-Digger

There is a misconstrued belief that all women want a man with a nice car, money in the bank, and a Roth IRA or 401K to boot, but that really only pertains to a small percentage. A reasonable woman realizes the prize of a man who is fiscally responsible as opposed to financially secure. In my opinion, if you’re being frugal to pay off your student loans you have more potential for growth than some asshole leasing a BMW and living in his mother’s basement. Satisfying your priorities is more appealing than shouting “YOLO” and “I Ain’t Got No Worries” every weekend in the club.

Just remember that these hoes aren’t loyal, but the right lady will hold you down through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now that you’ve been schooled with some womanly insight, run a few full-court drills and post up something nice.

Aisha A. Boyd is a connoisseur of all things relevant to the undiluted palate. Follow her on Twitter @theQueenPen (Aisha Ayana) and look out for her exciting upcoming blog.


5 Comments


  1. @Mscmajor I 100% agree that some ppl attract the the same types of ppl over & over. It’s like fatal attraction or something.

  2. “The women in today’s world”. What does that mean? I don’t think it’s fair to group all women in the same category. Typically, people attract the same kind of woman/man because there is something within themselves that hasn’t been resolved. Hey, If you think there’s a problem with “the women of today” then take my advice and date the women of yesterday: date older women. Lol!!

  3. Interesting article…..but I wish that was true for the women in todays world. :-) The old adage….”actions speak louder than words” come to mind. In all those examples…..I’ve been in dealings with women who said they wanted this and that, but turned around wanting the opposite. Men just want a woman who knows what they want, just like women. It’s an endless cycle……insanity comes to mind.

    • If men want a woman who knows what she wants why do most of you end up all intimidated by her steadfast attitude. It’s like if women don’t act like bimbos or yes girls then we’re labeled overbearing. All I’m saying is where’s the middle ground???

    • I’m one of the women who “knows”” what she wants but I only figured it out recently. What i want or look for in a guy now is no where close to the dudes I use to go for in my younger adult years. They still approach me but now I no my worth and yes, i know what i want!

Leave a Reply

Recent Posts
The Many Faces of Terrorism

The Many Faces of Terrorism

12/14/2015  |  No Comments

For those of us of sound mind, it is merely a matter of paying attention and exercising common sense in... Read More...

“Purge-uson”, Missouri: Martial Law & No Order

“Purge-uson”, Missouri: Martial Law & No Order

08/11/2015  |  No Comments

Ferguson, MI – Several cities in these United States have been deemed war-like zones. "Chiraq" (Chicago) and "Killadelphia" (Philadelphia) come... Read More...

UR Mixology: Ginger Whiskey Refresher

UR Mixology: Ginger Whiskey Refresher

07/15/2014  |  1 Comment

Here’s a sexy and sophisticated drink for those who like to sip on something they can feel in their bones.... Read More...

UR Recipes: Smoked Salmon Sandwich On A Croissant

UR Recipes: Smoked Salmon Sandwich On A Croissant

07/08/2014  |  No Comments

Let’s step away from the basic and predictable ham, turkey or bologna sandwich you’ve had hundreds of times before. If you... Read More...