The truth is, most women are neither looking for a roughneck or Prince Charming. Getting a female to learn and earn you is much deeper than skin-deep. But as I presume is the case of the gazey-eyed felon, looks are sometimes all one has to offer. So gentlemen, let’s crunch some fourth quarter plays and get into a discussion of what (most) women really want.
If you’re going to be a player at least be a good person while you’re at it. Most women respect honesty, especially when it is unsolicited. The more honest you are, the less shit may hit the fan if things do not work out. DO NOT lead a woman on. Part of being a grown-ass man is accepting your truth and living in it. If you’re just looking to date and have fun, let her know from the gate. It’s a waste of energy to convince a woman you’re looking for love when you’d actually just love to spend the night.
Most women have seen enough sexy in their lifetime to know that looks are not all that matter. Having hazel peepers and a chiseled chest and cheekbones only means one thing: you are easy on the eyes. But a lot of women are sapiophiles who admire brains over beauty. (Think Jay and Bey or Janet and Jermaine.) To most women, fine intellectual qualities beat rudimentary sexiness when it comes to taking you fellas seriously. Of course, there is a thin line between informative and pompous, so if you tend to be a know-it-all go ahead and reel it in a little bit.
A well-dressed man can have a powerful effect. Even if a woman is not actively looking, a guy in some nice digs and a great smile may sway her interest. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers as long as they’re clean and fitting. A collared shirt, pressed slacks, and wing-tips are impressive too, but having dynamic style is yet another way to show the ladies what you’re working with. So dress with some personality, chin up and smile dammit.
Whether you are planning to get serious or not, most women appreciate a man who is attentive in more ways than one. If you realize a woman is vulnerable or holding on to her past, you might want to take some advice from Drake and not throw yourself into dealing with a heart you didn’t break. But if love is the reason you decide to stick around, be prepared to accept her issues because they will most likely be yours to help manage. If love is not the case and you don’t actually thrive off Love and Hip Hop-style drama, then stay out of it!
There is a misconstrued belief that all women want a man with a nice car, money in the bank, and a Roth IRA or 401K to boot, but that really only pertains to a small percentage. A reasonable woman realizes the prize of a man who is fiscally responsible as opposed to financially secure. In my opinion, if you’re being frugal to pay off your student loans you have more potential for growth than some asshole leasing a BMW and living in his mother’s basement. Satisfying your priorities is more appealing than shouting “YOLO” and “I Ain’t Got No Worries” every weekend in the club.
Just remember that these hoes aren’t loyal, but the right lady will hold you down through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now that you’ve been schooled with some womanly insight, run a few full-court drills and post up something nice.
Aisha A. Boyd is a connoisseur of all things relevant to the undiluted palate. Follow her on Twitter @theQueenPen (Aisha Ayana) and look out for her exciting upcoming blog.