Trying to get your sexy back after a baby can be just as stressful as getting used to having that baby in your house. From being too tired to even look at your partner to not knowing how to share a moment alone anymore, it can be hard for new couples with children. The newlywed stage immediately comes to a halt and now you have to tend to that new little person in your space. No matter how large your house may be, or whether the baby sleeps in the nursery, across the room, or in your bed, they sure know how to cramp your former nighttime mojo.
The mood is set…no music, no foreplay, no kissing…but the quietness of a house that has a sleeping baby is music to your ears. You know things must move quickly, ‘cause it’s a proven fact that babies can sleep through a tornado, but the small drop of a house key can cause uncontrollable hysteria. When you’re nudging each other when the other gets “too loud” and becoming annoyed when what you used to enjoy for hours is now taking too long to finish, sex seems like a marathon race instead of a time of enjoyment. And of course, right when you have ALMOST reached that peak, the baby begins to cry. Ignoring her makes her cry harder, so you rush to tend to her: pacifier, rub on the back, give her the pre-made bottle on the nightstand (see, you were already prepared for this!) until she coos herself back to sleep. But when you rush back to bed to finish the task at hand, you realize Olympus has definitely fallen. Now you have a whole ‘nother cranky baby on your hands.
Yes, I speak from experience, and I’m here to help. Here are a few proven tips that will help you keep the spice in your relationship.
It’s hard to be spontaneous anymore. In fact, it’s almost impossible. But if your baby is on some sort of sleep schedule, then your former four a.m. “pokes” may have to be during the afternoon naps. You are a grown up now; permission has been rightfully granted to have sex any time you want.
2. Always be prepared.
Baby went to bed early, but is your bikini line looking a little…unkempt? Toes not done? Lingerie somewhere in the bottom of the hamper? Trying to do all of this at the last minute will only make you more exhausted and stressed. Try to keep up with your beauty routines on a regular basis. Confidence is key when it comes to bringing your sexy back, so it’s beneficial to keep yourself feeling like a MILF.
Need a vacay from being yourself? Then dress up and be someone else. Jay and Bey put many people on to doing something that has worked for ages: roleplaying in bed. A night nurse? French maid? These are jobs you have been doing anyway, why not have fun with them?
4. Let the bed be just for sleeping.
Try a new place in your house to get it on. If the baby is in your bedroom, go to another. Only one bedroom? Kitchens can be fun, or that new pool table.
With the new baby in the house, you may want to try any or all of these options, but be careful. Mom plus dad can easily make four.